G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Disclaimer: as a kid growing up, my best friend Brian and I played relentlessly with our G.I. Joe guys. I was so looking forward to this movie. The first ad played during the Super Bowl last February had me excited for months.

The trailer:


And then? I went to see it. Ugh.

The cast:

Good guys: Hawk, Duke, Scarlett, Snake Eyes, Heavy Duty, Breaker, Ripcord.
Bad guys: Baroness, Cobra Commander, Storm Shadow, Destro, Zartan.
Shall I go above the garage and bring down my action figures for you?...

This movie was just..horrible. Not Transformers 2 horrible, but horrible. (I guess Hasbro toys make sucky films?) The special effects were pretty cool, albeit slightly stuttered and disjointed. But the plot? The dialogue? The character development?

Ugly.

Dare I say, for my beloved G.I. Joe? A paltry Wait for HBO score. Disappointing.

This being said, it was set up predictably for a sequel. And as horrible as this was, I will most assuredly see the sequel. And I know the suits in the movie studio know this. I am an enabler. Put out crappy product and the public will still see it. I feel so dirty.

At least it had the redeeming quality of hot babes in black leather and rubber fetish wear.